


My Sweet Summer

by JohnxHelen



Category: The Man in the High Castle (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, TW: Nazis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 06:12:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18190805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnxHelen/pseuds/JohnxHelen
Summary: Takes place after An Act of Kindness. Helen’s love Lucy dies, and she’s forced to attend the funeral.





	My Sweet Summer

The news came quickly of Lucy Collins demise. The papers talked about her brutal torture and rape, the coat hanger abortion that killed her, her last words that she whispered to her husband, “Prosper for the Reich.” Helen heard of it everywhere and wanted none of it. In her opinion, this was all bullshit. Lucy would have chuckled bitterly and ordered a martini in her next breath. 

Furthermore, she existed to Helen as a innocent temptress in her mind. She wasn’t this hero of the Reich and she never bore fruit in her belly, and Helen did not want her name twisted like his. But she’d had to sit through the funeral, the sieg heils an self-aggrandizing speeches and the “I’m sorry for your loss.” from the faceless housewives that attended every funeral. She wanted to scream and tear all of their fucking eyes out. She retreated into her lovers hands and subtle touches, a anchor against the world’s chaos. 

Juliana sat next to her, as quiet as a cat. Helen grew to love the woman in the half year they’d spent together, even through a move to New York City and Helen’s switch to the Resistance. John had also grown to adore her as well. She possessed a sort of tempering energy that gelled quite well with the passionate vibes of his and Helens. When no one was looking, she reached down to squeeze her hand. She sadly smiled and squeezed back.

A cry of “Sieg Heil!” emanated from the church, and so they had to stand. Shaking, Helen extended her arm. A wave of nausea crept through her. If only Lucy could get up and hold her, hug her. Who cared about her feelings in this world? Who cared that her voluptuous body would be burned into the ash instead of being worshipped like the goddess she was? 

 

The funeral guests shuffled to the reception room, where heaps of waiters gamboled around, serving bland food. She looked around like a prey to seek her hunters so that she could evade them. John and Juliana came up up behind her. Her husband started to rub her back. 

 

“We’re going to be right here, alright? We aren’t going anywhere. No bad places.” He reassured her and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought of Thomas in South America. He sent letters about his trips and his improvements because of the medicine the organizers of this trip gave him. Soon, he’d return and marry Annie. 

They stood behind her and greeted other guests. She saw Henry in a corner with his mistress. She was obviously 8 months pregnant, and seemed to follow with barely repressed glee. His pudgy hand moved up his lovers skirt. Helen radiated anger. How dare he desecrate Lucy’s name like this, bringing his whore to HER funeral?

“Easy, Helen.” he whispered. She let her anger slide down her throat like a hard of broken glass. She had to say something to this man, as she stood some feet away from him. She walked up, John behind her, and said: “Sieg Heil, Henry. Sorry for your loss.” “Thank you Helen.” he responded in a manner that seemed like he didn’t want to be bothered by these people who soon would leave his life for good. “I am sorry as well, Henry.” John added on and shook his hand. Juliana continued softly, “I hope your heart will heal, Henry.” He guffawed so loud that people turned to pause at the jovial widower. “I must’ve been having a lot of whiskey, that was soo.....” He saw the saturnine eyes of Helen trained upon him. “uplifting. Will I see you around, Juliana? You seem like the hottest ticket in town.” “Yes and no.” she murmured and walked closer to Helen. 

 

The crowd turned away. And to make matters worse, the fucking Long Island Housewives of Mary Dawson and Alice Adler stalked towards her. Helen forced herself to smile. “Hello ladies.” John said and kissed each one on the cheek. “Hi, John.” they rasped. He blushed slightly and Juliana saw it. “And our bird!” They said. They started calling her that after she told them that she liked birds. 

They too kissed her. She also blushed. Helen saw Juliana pleading with her eyes for help. “Alice, Mary, our bird doesn’t want touches. She’s in mourning for our friend.” “Sure, she was a friend.” Mary countered. “But we were never there for her.” A awkward moment of silence proceeded that. Helen knew that they weren’t good friends, but for her to publicly say it was it’s own torment. “Don’t worry, Helen.” Alice reassured. “We tried to visit her and we are very saddened by her sudden death.”She choked out a tear. Crocodile tear, Helen thought. “Of course.” she responded, tears choking her eyes. They crowded around her, trying to comfort her. Words flew around her, not reaching her mind. The urge to vomit grew and grew. 

“I must go to the bathroom.” she squealed and walked out. John and Juliana seemed befuddled. She seemed alright, why would she get so upset? Nevertheless, they had a duty to ensure that she was alright. “Let’s go, Miss Crain.” he said and followed after her.

They saw her go into one of the private bathrooms. They entered after her. She swigged from a flask of whiskey, tears streaming down her face. She gazed at them. “Want some?” she offered the flask. “I don’t want to see them anymore.” John crouched down to his wife. “Why?” he asked. “They killed her, all of the housewives!” she screamed and sobbed on the floor. 

“Helen.” Juliana said. She perked up and she tried not to think about how the black dress highlighted her breasts. “I understand why you’d feel like this. It’s ok to feel that way. Come here.” She pulled Helen into her arms. She snuggled against her lap and again Juliana tried not to think of her breasts rubbed against hers. “Am I interrupting something?” John japed. “Mmm, no.” She responded and kissed him. The woman in her arms whimpered. “I guess we have, poor thing.” he replied and nuzzled her face with his hand. “May I try, John?” she asked and perked her head up. 

“Of course.” he replied. He had some clue of what Helen wanted. And he didn’t want to stop her. Leaving the flask, she headed towards him. “Such a bad boy.” she murmured in his ear. She started to tongue his lips. Juliana came behind him and nibbled upon his neck. He wondered if someone could hear his concealed moans. “I am.” he murmured against her. “Good.” Helen says. “Such a pillar of the community and such a bad boy at home-“ She’s interrupted by John pushing Juliana between them. 

He rested her against his shoulder while kissing his wife. Juliana could hear their little grunts and breaths against each other, and it made her ache. She wanted their mouths, almost needed it to forget the masses of black clothes outside. She shrank into John’s warm embrace. “Don’t be shy, girl.” Helen said to her. She patted her tresses and pulled her into a kiss. It was brief, but it warmed her for more. 

Unfortunately for her, John pulled away. “We have to go. People wonder.” he said. He raked fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. As they headed to the door, Helen whispered, “Thank you. I needed it.” “Why?” Juliana asked. She wondered why they did this here, when there was a very good bed at home. “I needed it in the moment, Julia. It’s like drinking. It relieves the temporary pain over bad things.” she said. She nodded and walked out with them. 

There were some turned heads at their entrance, but John silenced them with his stare. The housewives still mobbed her, but she stayed calm by remembering their kisses. She couldn’t wait for more. 

The Smiths and Juliana drove home in silence. Anticipation thrummed in the air. When they got in their house, they busied themselves with making dinner and talking with Jennifer and Amy. They seemed to be doing well in school, and could not wait for Thomas’s return. They tucked their daughters into bed and said goodnight. 

Helen led her lovers to their bed. She flopped onto it. “I feel so tired.” she said. “But somehow, when I see you, I feel more awake.” She clambered onto Juliana. “I think the situation calls for more love.” she whispered. “So much that I’ll be filled with it.” John smirked and kissed her briefly. “More.” she murmured. “Please?” She batted her eyes and her lovers could not refuse. They kept kissing her, vesting themselves and her of clothing. 

They lay there in the afterglow. Juliana realized that Helen took a pill around this time, so she rifled through the drawers to retrieve it. “Give her one pill. Lock up the rest.” John ordered, holding his wife close.She handed it to him; he administered it to her with some water. The flask still lay in the room. John didn’t want it there; Helen could get it, and she could ruin him. “Throw away the whisky. I don’t want her to overdose on our hands.” he commanded. She stirred a bit. “Helen, I love you and my heart would break if she passed.” He ran a finger through her auburn locks until she fell asleep. 

“We’re all she’s got right now.” John whispered to Juliana. "She has the kids, but they’ll leave someday. And the housewives?” Helen stirred. “You saw that." Juliana replied. " We need to help her through this because she loved her. I don’t understand why, but she did. And she’s upset over the funeral, right?” 

Their lover stirred again and said, “Yes. I can’t believe they’d do that to her. She was one of the loves of my life. And Henry! That poor woman, she has his poison in her flesh and doesn’t know it’s toxic. And those ladies need to find someone else. Thank god for your kisses, or I wouldn’t have survived.” He sadly smirked. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Did you not like her?” “Well...” John replied. He didn’t want to hurt his wife with his true feelings but maybe saying his thoughts would help her heal. 

“It’s hard to describe my feelings about Lucy. She was nice to you, better than your other friends. But it hurts that you tried to fuck her without telling me.” he stated. “That’s what I did with Juliana. And you aren’t that mad.” Helen countered. “Falling in love with her was a group effort, not a plan waged by one person.” John counteracted. 

She waved her hand dismissively. “Fine, fine. I fucked up with that. Better?” John quirked his lips. “Sure.” he murmured dangerously. Helen, wide-eyed, looked up at him. “Really?” she murmured, touching his face. 

He melted at her onslaught. “I love you and her, Helen. I just could never understand why you’d love her.” “Same reasons as Juliana, darling. She is so beautiful and kind and truly someone I could talk to. Even when I talked about nothing, she still listened. Somehow, I feel like she’s still around.” She gestures to Juliana. “Especially in this gorgeous woman right here.” Helen smiles and gestures for her to return to her arms. She obeys perfectly; she snuggles against her breasts. 

It almost breaks her heart seeing that, seeing her happiness. Lucy would’ve done the same, had she lived and loved her the same. But Lucy was in the air, and she couldn’t bring her from that. The only thing she could do was love Juliana, and hope that her love would smile from the afterlife. She choked back tears. “Are you alright?” Juliana inquired. “Just...happy.” she replied, and held her loves closer.

 

Juliana knew damn well that Helen was crying over Lucy and the funeral. “You sure?” she cooed, touching her face. She started to sob. “That funeral was—so—bad. I—didn’t know if I was going to make it through. Then—-you came in and made me feel—-soooo—much better. “ she sobbed. “I’m glad, Helen.” she said. She lied. It hurt seeing her cry and knowing that nothing would ever work. She’d still have this hurt no matter what her loves did. Juliana carried some of that as well. 

Lucy was the first friend she ever had in the Reich. She went shopping with her before Helen took her to steamy lingerie stores. She talked to her about matters that Helen would hardly touch. Even when she considered Helen and John her confidants, she still confided with Mrs. Collins. Now she was gone. What she had to do now is to care for Helen and try to heal her heart and her own.


End file.
